Creating the Creator

I am not as the universe made me
I am both Frankenstein and his creature
Created by nature and nurture
Formed into what I needed to be

Born of dark whispers from Angels
And raised on the hopes of thoughtful Devils
Pieces of all I know incorporated into the one
A body that is whole with a soul feeling undone

I traverse the darkening webs of life
Looking to cut the strings
I could pull the knife
From my back which I placed there
Free myself in a birth of new spring
For it is part of the armor I wear

The blade pushed deep
Holding back the blood and tears I forever keep
And I don’t feel a thing
As the heart of mine would sing
In the hymn of pain and joy
As days go by and I break the toy

Everything that was new is old again
And I see the light anew
As it fades into the darkness I have always knew
I struggle to to my feet as I begin

A penny for the dreadful
A dime for the hopeful
An ounce of inspiration
For a pound of damnation
Looking inward for salvation
With a shot in the night
That the end is right

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Design

A world unraveled
A world at the brink
The pushed edge
The blood dimmed tide washes clean
Forgotten sins and virtues alike
As I build a heaven full of nightmares
In which to play
This is my design
And I disappear within

The Trend

The rage of the heart
Is silenced by the violence of the soul
That lost control
In the torn apart reality
Of black and white
That melt into the gray

We didn’t fall to darkness
We became the darkness
In the darkness we were one
In the darkness all the sins were fun

There was no right nor wrong
There was only the song
The melody of freedom , of love
There was no heaven above
Nor hell below
Only the life we know

Yet all things good must end
That’s the true sin
That darkness cannot continue even
And in time the light will trend

Re-sin

With burning certitude
And self righteous conviction
You act, Yet you act the fool
With angry words your only tool
And when your vile venom is spit
You still haven’t said shit

Caught up in the feeling
Of that only one your mind can latch onto
That envious green
That makes you mean
Yet leaves you reeling
Is all you knew

Your all cashed out
And can do nothing but pout
As you know you’re ineffective
And mostly likely defective
For you there is no hope
And not even a way to cope

 

Chill

A cold chill that won’t go away

Here in the light of the sun

I see my breath exhale

Even though I’m in hell

 

The sweat rolls

As sin takes it toll

And once again I give in

To the  temptation

That leads to ruination

 

Yet freedom is found

In the disaster of the ringing alarms

The lovely sound

Of a love that harms

 

I feel no pain

As I go numb

And find the truth insane

As reality never will come

 

Who wants Forever

This will never end

This is all I will ever know

There is no promise

There is no way to mend

All that remains is all I miss

All I see is what the mirror will show

 

Choices gone wrong

Voices familiar long gone

The sun sets

The moon forgets

 

Only the flickering flame of blame

Waiting to ignite the furnace of shame

To end the chill

Of all I feel

And the only thought of hope is to choke

Upon the blacken smoke

 

Of what was once a soul

And a lifetime of sin takes its toll

The Spiral

Down the spiral

Of information gone viral

So many reasons to go

Wrapped in my brain

So few to stay

Begin to circle the drain

I use to stand so tall

I got back up after every fall

 

Took every hit

Always biting off more than I could chew

Because it’s the only life I knew

I never knew when to quit

I became addicted to the taste

Of living a life out of place

 

Looking back

Looking in

On a life that never was

On all I would lack

I was unstoppable

Perfectly unblockable

Yet I was losing as a brave fool often does

Countless was the sweet sin

 

Pointless was the repent

The soul of silver had been spent

To battle the storms within that persist

And I would forever exist

 

Try as I might

I would grasp at the light

And grab only darkness

To cloak my sadness

In the melancholy of my hours

Spent in the chill of April showers

 

Of happiness I would dream

In the suns golden stream

Yet I knew the clouds would always darken

The truth of my soul forgotten

 

I would be stone cold sober

And know my pain is not over

As the first sip

Found its mark upon my lip

Trying to be numb

To all that life has done

And wishing for more

More time before I expired

Even though I am beyond tired

 

So diabolic

The bitter sweet tonic

Of hope

When one is trying to cope

The night goes long

For my will is strong

Even when my soul is weak

And my heart is meek

 

It’s my end

I don’t pretend

It’ll be pretty

I’ll go just as gritty

Into that final night

As I boldly stepped from the light