Today’s thought

A series of distraction that’s life
That’s all it is nothing more than random
or planned events to escape the reality
of living

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Another actual blog post wtf?!

So how about I actually write a blog? For a little over six months or so I haven’t really been using facebook. Sure I had one , I kept my old one and reactivated my very first profile mainly to make an author page and occasionally check out a group page or two. Today I went fully back on to Facebook. In the process of rebuilding the acquaintance list…yes I said acquaintance list. For me that’s basically what it is. Sure some are close to friend level but most are not. I tend to keep everyone at arm’s length. Just how I am.

Speaking of acquaintances I passed one the other day on the corner of the street. She was panhandling. I wasn’t in a spot where I could stop and be like wtf is going on with you. So I turned and pulled up in the nearest parking lot and walked back to where she was. I have basically known this girl since 2010ish off and on. I won’t call her a friend but yeah I know her. She’s had her share of problems from health issues being diagnosed with lupus as a child. To substance abuse problems as a teen and now adult. The last time I saw her was about a year ago when I was doing my security gig.

She was semi homeless then and jobless. I say semi because she had left her boyfriend for the countless time hence the homeless part. Jobless because she couldn’t make it to work or rather function at work. A stripper no less. Mind you she is not what you think of when you think stripper. Guess my city has some very low standards.

Anyways back to current affairs, she was still jobless a year later. Now on probation for probably shoplifting again plus using her sisters name as hers when they arrested her. Living in a tent and panhandling, she might be all of 27 years old. Yet this is the path her life has taken. You can tell the drugs have begun to affect her.From her memory to her appearance. I would of felt empathy for her but I really didn’t. I know some of the fucked up shit she has done to friends etc. So can’t feel to bad for her. Just sorta sad this the way she is going. She could have been more. She can be a sweet girl but those damn substance problems always cause her problems.

As y’all know I posted about publishing a second book. So that’s a highlight of the month. I have updated the profiles on a few of my social media from instagram,twitter,facebook (author page and personal) and fetlife. Wordpess is next at some point.

Who knows maybe I will blog more often.

100 Proof

A Hundred percent
Nothing and no one
Even me
Only my blood is hundred proof
A sad and lonely truth
That’s all it’ll ever be
After my time is spent
And long after I’m gone

When the liquor no longer burns
And you have nothing left to learn
Nothing to teach
And little worth to preach
When there are no new sins
And apathy sinks in
In the darkness you see
That’s where you’ll find me

Running on Empty

Exquisitely empty
An abyss in my chest
Where no light escapes
Dead lights in my eyes
As I lay my weary head to rest

Leaving is easy
When you have run out of truth to speak
When you’ve grown tired of scraps
And feed on the lies
Even the strongest feels weak

I see no stars to light the way
Nor know no peace of mind
Serenity is a dream
And reality is nightmare
No wonder I can’t help but scream

I know better than to the pray
For the universe has no place for my kind
Not now, not then nor anymore
I let go of all I care
Now and forever more

Day Light Burns

There on my brightest days

Nowhere to be found in the darkest nights

Taking credit for victories

And passing the blame for failures

 

Everything I ever wanted

Yet nothing I ever needed

I learned to live

And never forgive

 

Blood was thick

Yet reality was quick

Genetics does not a family make

And the lie was easy to forsake

 

You’ll never hear those prayers

Or see the plights

Or know how haunted

The mind has become with warnings not heeded