In Dreams

I disappear in the smoke
Blend into the whiskey
And find myself in the black
The sun never touches my dark shores
And I have all my ever afters and more
My mind holds them all
I see them every night
And after I dream
I wake with a scream
To the nightmare of reality

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Dark Truths

Darkness
The absence of light
The personification of the truth
That is the reality
Not the dream of colors
The rainbow of hope
The world is a dark place
As hard as it is to accept
The price of being is paid in blood and steel
Broken promises and forgotten dreams
The only currency that matters in a world of truth
A world of darkness

Voice

Unknown syllables escape my mouth
Spouting gibberish rhymes
That make sense only to me
I paint the reality I see
With each annunciation
To no appreciation

All around look to see what to make of it
Yet only see the small
Missing the big picture
Missing the mark
Missing the last of my works
As the sunrises on another day
And light washes away
The shadows with which I play

Now nothing remains

Another actual blog post wtf?!

So how about I actually write a blog? For a little over six months or so I haven’t really been using facebook. Sure I had one , I kept my old one and reactivated my very first profile mainly to make an author page and occasionally check out a group page or two. Today I went fully back on to Facebook. In the process of rebuilding the acquaintance list…yes I said acquaintance list. For me that’s basically what it is. Sure some are close to friend level but most are not. I tend to keep everyone at arm’s length. Just how I am.

Speaking of acquaintances I passed one the other day on the corner of the street. She was panhandling. I wasn’t in a spot where I could stop and be like wtf is going on with you. So I turned and pulled up in the nearest parking lot and walked back to where she was. I have basically known this girl since 2010ish off and on. I won’t call her a friend but yeah I know her. She’s had her share of problems from health issues being diagnosed with lupus as a child. To substance abuse problems as a teen and now adult. The last time I saw her was about a year ago when I was doing my security gig.

She was semi homeless then and jobless. I say semi because she had left her boyfriend for the countless time hence the homeless part. Jobless because she couldn’t make it to work or rather function at work. A stripper no less. Mind you she is not what you think of when you think stripper. Guess my city has some very low standards.

Anyways back to current affairs, she was still jobless a year later. Now on probation for probably shoplifting again plus using her sisters name as hers when they arrested her. Living in a tent and panhandling, she might be all of 27 years old. Yet this is the path her life has taken. You can tell the drugs have begun to affect her.From her memory to her appearance. I would of felt empathy for her but I really didn’t. I know some of the fucked up shit she has done to friends etc. So can’t feel to bad for her. Just sorta sad this the way she is going. She could have been more. She can be a sweet girl but those damn substance problems always cause her problems.

As y’all know I posted about publishing a second book. So that’s a highlight of the month. I have updated the profiles on a few of my social media from instagram,twitter,facebook (author page and personal) and fetlife. Wordpess is next at some point.

Who knows maybe I will blog more often.

100 Proof

A Hundred percent
Nothing and no one
Even me
Only my blood is hundred proof
A sad and lonely truth
That’s all it’ll ever be
After my time is spent
And long after I’m gone

When the liquor no longer burns
And you have nothing left to learn
Nothing to teach
And little worth to preach
When there are no new sins
And apathy sinks in
In the darkness you see
That’s where you’ll find me