Up slide

In the halls of Shambala
I tumbled down a thousand steps up to Nirvana
Only to find my karma was gone
And here in this beautiful palace all alone
I found Hell
A gilded cage full of rage
For the soul I did sell
Like a hotel in California
You can check out anytime you like
Though you might not make it back
To where you came from
To where you want to go
You’ll find any pretense
To go from zero to intense
Basking here in the midnight sun
Trying to find the light of the day
To the violence I pray
Relief for none
As the conflict grows
And the blood flows
It floods the hole
Where should be a soul

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Feel this

I know what death feels like
Isn’t it time I know what life feels like

I have seen hope die
And learned to cope with the lie

That is the dream forgotten
When the soul is forsaken

I know not my path
For I know not my heart

Where does it start
Where does it end

Melancholy my only friend
And together we laugh

Stutter Stop

Without reason or rhyme

It was only a matter of time

That will echo in minds

For what they will find

 

Without a whisper or a scream

Comes the end of the dream

It was not a nightmare, you see

Yet it was not fantasy

 

It simply was

And it simply wasn’t

The complications of expectations

Of something better

Feeling meant for something greater

Yet surviving instead as one does

 

A choice is made

A choice that has no true consequence

That leaves no voice to be heard

Only the melancholy of silence

For there is no word

 

That can truly explain all the pain

That dwells in the brain of one not quite yet insane

The heart grows lazy

As the soul goes crazy

 

The will to pump blood staggers and stutters

As the mouth only mutters

The last gasp of words that come to mind

It was only a ……….

The Spiral

Down the spiral

Of information gone viral

So many reasons to go

Wrapped in my brain

So few to stay

Begin to circle the drain

I use to stand so tall

I got back up after every fall

 

Took every hit

Always biting off more than I could chew

Because it’s the only life I knew

I never knew when to quit

I became addicted to the taste

Of living a life out of place

 

Looking back

Looking in

On a life that never was

On all I would lack

I was unstoppable

Perfectly unblockable

Yet I was losing as a brave fool often does

Countless was the sweet sin

 

Pointless was the repent

The soul of silver had been spent

To battle the storms within that persist

And I would forever exist

 

Try as I might

I would grasp at the light

And grab only darkness

To cloak my sadness

In the melancholy of my hours

Spent in the chill of April showers

 

Of happiness I would dream

In the suns golden stream

Yet I knew the clouds would always darken

The truth of my soul forgotten

 

I would be stone cold sober

And know my pain is not over

As the first sip

Found its mark upon my lip

Trying to be numb

To all that life has done

And wishing for more

More time before I expired

Even though I am beyond tired

 

So diabolic

The bitter sweet tonic

Of hope

When one is trying to cope

The night goes long

For my will is strong

Even when my soul is weak

And my heart is meek

 

It’s my end

I don’t pretend

It’ll be pretty

I’ll go just as gritty

Into that final night

As I boldly stepped from the light