Bitter Ink

How often I drain my pen of the bitter ink

Only to dip it back in time and time again

Scratching out verses

With the blood of my soul

Hearing the words rattle off like ancient curses

 

Living off the hope

With a shattered mind

Wallowing in disrepair

Without a fuck to spare

Using the pain to cope

The only high I find

In my reality of low

The scars never show

 

The deep dark abyss of the light once again

Swallowed me whole

As I taste the sweet poison in my drink

That life has poured for me

I taste all I was, all I ever will be

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Morning Star

Twisting, turning

I can feel it burning

My soul aflame

In the long night’s pain

Where winning and losing are the same

And there’s nothing left to gain

From the bones of tomorrow

That create only more sorrow

To go with the memories of dreams

That became the nightmares of which I would scream

 

If only I had a voice

I would sing of the folly of choice

I would say aloud

All that once made me proud

Yet only hasten my fall

In the hope filled vanity

Of trying to keep my war torn sanity

In a world gone insane

By the phantom pain

 

That hope brings like little whispers

From the graves of the brave

And broken star trippers

Who cannot be saved

In mourning of the passing day

In the morning of a new way

My Friend of Misery

Another sip of hope

Tasting whiskey bitter sweet

Wandering down the winding dark street

To find the ways and means to cope

 

I used to dream of such wondrous things

A love that would never die

A world left better than I found it

A place full of glorious things

And a open blue sky

Of sadness that I would forget

 

Now those dreams are gone

For in truth I was wrong to have them

This world is not ready wonders

Only nightmares it would seem

And in my blunders

I see the truth alone

 

That sometimes only the only wondrous thing to do is madness

Allow the sorrow of tomorrow to become personified

When hope fails and misery reigns

Let your wickedness be glorified

Regardless of the pains

It brings to others happiness

 

Be the friend of misery never had

The Spiral

Down the spiral

Of information gone viral

So many reasons to go

Wrapped in my brain

So few to stay

Begin to circle the drain

I use to stand so tall

I got back up after every fall

 

Took every hit

Always biting off more than I could chew

Because it’s the only life I knew

I never knew when to quit

I became addicted to the taste

Of living a life out of place

 

Looking back

Looking in

On a life that never was

On all I would lack

I was unstoppable

Perfectly unblockable

Yet I was losing as a brave fool often does

Countless was the sweet sin

 

Pointless was the repent

The soul of silver had been spent

To battle the storms within that persist

And I would forever exist

 

Try as I might

I would grasp at the light

And grab only darkness

To cloak my sadness

In the melancholy of my hours

Spent in the chill of April showers

 

Of happiness I would dream

In the suns golden stream

Yet I knew the clouds would always darken

The truth of my soul forgotten

 

I would be stone cold sober

And know my pain is not over

As the first sip

Found its mark upon my lip

Trying to be numb

To all that life has done

And wishing for more

More time before I expired

Even though I am beyond tired

 

So diabolic

The bitter sweet tonic

Of hope

When one is trying to cope

The night goes long

For my will is strong

Even when my soul is weak

And my heart is meek

 

It’s my end

I don’t pretend

It’ll be pretty

I’ll go just as gritty

Into that final night

As I boldly stepped from the light

Tithes of Darkness

Darkness

I speak of it often

Writing volumes on the subject

A feeling that defies intellect

I speak of misery of the soul

I wax poetically of the toll

The wages paid in sin

Trying to escape it’s madness

The tragic cycle of its sorrow

That grips my every tomorrow

I speak of it all

Of the highs and the inevitable fall

 

Yet rarely do I speak of the lights that sustain me

The things that allow me to survive to be

I survive off love and hate

Hope and apathy

I choose my sustenance well

And there I dwell

Till I have had my fill

And regained my will

 

The love of those I care for

The hate that renews me

The hope of a better day

And the apathy to step away

I exist in a confused harmony of opposing forces

A perfect storm in human form

Aware of the choices

Yet careless of the consequence

For a slave to my nature I am

And whether I dance

With Angels or Devils

I am to be among the Damn

 

Still the choice was mine

And in the voice of time

I speak my truths and listen to the folly