Up slide

In the halls of Shambala
I tumbled down a thousand steps up to Nirvana
Only to find my karma was gone
And here in this beautiful palace all alone
I found Hell
A gilded cage full of rage
For the soul I did sell
Like a hotel in California
You can check out anytime you like
Though you might not make it back
To where you came from
To where you want to go
You’ll find any pretense
To go from zero to intense
Basking here in the midnight sun
Trying to find the light of the day
To the violence I pray
Relief for none
As the conflict grows
And the blood flows
It floods the hole
Where should be a soul

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A work in progress

I fuck with the fates
Because I’m sure I’ll escape
I dig the grave even deeper
Because death knows I’m a keeper
Six feet will never hold me
As life will never let me be

The sins of yesterday
Clashing with the dreams of tomorrow
Here in the present full of sorrow
I know my loves and feed my hates
Kept warm by the soft glow
Of the red as it flows

I ask the Angels what have I done
And get no reply
I sing to the Devils for my supper
And leave hungry

Creating the Creator

I am not as the universe made me
I am both Frankenstein and his creature
Created by nature and nurture
Formed into what I needed to be

Born of dark whispers from Angels
And raised on the hopes of thoughtful Devils
Pieces of all I know incorporated into the one
A body that is whole with a soul feeling undone

I traverse the darkening webs of life
Looking to cut the strings
I could pull the knife
From my back which I placed there
Free myself in a birth of new spring
For it is part of the armor I wear

The blade pushed deep
Holding back the blood and tears I forever keep
And I don’t feel a thing
As the heart of mine would sing
In the hymn of pain and joy
As days go by and I break the toy

Everything that was new is old again
And I see the light anew
As it fades into the darkness I have always knew
I struggle to to my feet as I begin

A penny for the dreadful
A dime for the hopeful
An ounce of inspiration
For a pound of damnation
Looking inward for salvation
With a shot in the night
That the end is right

The House

The wood covers the dirt
Even as it slips between the cracks
My walls hold ever so tenuously
As the pounding never stops
Doors bolted shut
Swing open as cold wind blows
The roof leaks with all the hurt
That pours from sealed windows

My house of ill repair
Falls in disarray
And in the rubble
That burns to ash
I sift for a clue
Of an existence

The calm hours

In the heart of the void
There is nothing
Nothing for you to see
Nothing left to owe
No reason to exist

Only the will to persist
Nothing to you I give
For I no longer grieve
For lost chances and endless dances

I sit among the black
And accept the fate
Of a life absence of love and hate
In balance with the abyss
And nothing left to be missed

A soul in atrophy
Sold for the shiny coin of silver not gold
I am as the world made me
Damned and saved by the flash of thought
And the consequences wrought