The Monster

I am of my own darkness
The perfect little monster I have made of myself
I may be dark yet I am not malevolent
The spikes of my violence
Coincide with my silence
For words will fail to express my rage

As my kinder gestures are seen
And tender nature exposed
And mistaken for the true self
Make no mistake the beast is always present
Waiting to feed
I will protect what I call mine
Be it person ,place or thing.
If you have forgotten my truth
Disrupt the happiness of one of those
And see why I truly exist

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Ancient Fleeting

There’s a hole in my soul
It bleeds out all I know
Nothing fills it
Nothing heals it
Wanting everything
And desiring nothing
A loop of frustration
Creating my own damnation to be my salvation

Feeling ancient
Body breaking to match my soul
Life taking its toll
Birth an accident
Existence an underachievement
Of wasted time, energy and moments

Going nowhere fast
While moving forward
In a loop de loop of a corkscrew helix
Only to find myself back
My soul will not last
As I ghost backward
In a life of pyrrhic
Whose purpose I lack

Stutter Stop

Without reason or rhyme

It was only a matter of time

That will echo in minds

For what they will find

 

Without a whisper or a scream

Comes the end of the dream

It was not a nightmare, you see

Yet it was not fantasy

 

It simply was

And it simply wasn’t

The complications of expectations

Of something better

Feeling meant for something greater

Yet surviving instead as one does

 

A choice is made

A choice that has no true consequence

That leaves no voice to be heard

Only the melancholy of silence

For there is no word

 

That can truly explain all the pain

That dwells in the brain of one not quite yet insane

The heart grows lazy

As the soul goes crazy

 

The will to pump blood staggers and stutters

As the mouth only mutters

The last gasp of words that come to mind

It was only a ……….

Disconnect

Disconnection
Changing course
Leaving behind weight
Searching for that oasis
I know it’s on the horizon
Past the edge of the map
Past where monsters dwell
Over the rainbow
And beyond the gates of Eden
Into the land of Nod
Just north of the Styx
I’ll find my spot
Far away from all noise
Far from the memories
Far from the failure
I’ll find that paradise
And will live on in the whispers of shadows

On Leather Wings

In the flames of life

When the quiet comes from strife

Rises a shadow of me

A shadow of what I used to be

In the smoky haze

I know the path of the maze

Tasting the fire on the tongue’s tip

Strength enough for one more trip

 

Back into the darkness

The light of the abyss

Beckons me

What will I see

As I fan the flames

And speak the names

 

Of the forgotten and the forsaken

Of the rights that were wrong’s mistaken

I travel the byways of the soul

Till I find the will to control

My decent into the earth

From which the demon will know birth

 

And on leather wings I will ascend into the tomorrow

With nothing but regret and sorrow

To fuel the fire within

And with my soul dipped and dripping the seven sins

Of all that I see around

And as I bring paradise down