Quantum Dreary

You know my name yet you never knew my mind
If you could see the world as I do
What would you say
If you could hear the words
Would you know the reasons
If you could write the wrongs
Would you sing my song
Or would you cry as you learn the beautiful lie

There is no point
Everyone is losing
Everyone is lost
Everyone has always been lost
Knowing the truth comes as always with a cost
So lets blow this joint
And puff out the existence your choosing

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In my blood

Born with tragedy
It flows in my veins
It pumps through my heart
Seeps into my mind
And blurs the perception

It’s all I know
Its always there
Behind the grin
In the laugh within

Never without a care
Always a thought
Of the damage wrought
In a lifetime of halves

Half truths, half tries and half lies
My spring meets winter’s wither and dies
As summer begins before the fall
That will take its toll
As I spin in and out of control

Looking for the soul
The heart of hope to go on
To learn a new song
To right my course before long
As I head toward the wall

Will it break or will I?

The Monster

I am of my own darkness
The perfect little monster I have made of myself
I may be dark yet I am not malevolent
The spikes of my violence
Coincide with my silence
For words will fail to express my rage

As my kinder gestures are seen
And tender nature exposed
And mistaken for the true self
Make no mistake the beast is always present
Waiting to feed
I will protect what I call mine
Be it person ,place or thing.
If you have forgotten my truth
Disrupt the happiness of one of those
And see why I truly exist

Ancient Fleeting

There’s a hole in my soul
It bleeds out all I know
Nothing fills it
Nothing heals it
Wanting everything
And desiring nothing
A loop of frustration
Creating my own damnation to be my salvation

Feeling ancient
Body breaking to match my soul
Life taking its toll
Birth an accident
Existence an underachievement
Of wasted time, energy and moments

Going nowhere fast
While moving forward
In a loop de loop of a corkscrew helix
Only to find myself back
My soul will not last
As I ghost backward
In a life of pyrrhic
Whose purpose I lack

Stutter Stop

Without reason or rhyme

It was only a matter of time

That will echo in minds

For what they will find

 

Without a whisper or a scream

Comes the end of the dream

It was not a nightmare, you see

Yet it was not fantasy

 

It simply was

And it simply wasn’t

The complications of expectations

Of something better

Feeling meant for something greater

Yet surviving instead as one does

 

A choice is made

A choice that has no true consequence

That leaves no voice to be heard

Only the melancholy of silence

For there is no word

 

That can truly explain all the pain

That dwells in the brain of one not quite yet insane

The heart grows lazy

As the soul goes crazy

 

The will to pump blood staggers and stutters

As the mouth only mutters

The last gasp of words that come to mind

It was only a ……….