Decay

Of things that do not last

My knowledge and experience is vast

Eventually all seem to fade away

Like radioactive decay

For everything will change

People, Places and Things

All become something new

And all that remains is the memory of what you knew

 

It may seem strange

Yet this is life, this is reality

Not the fairy tale of make believe

Where Neverland exists

Or Wonderland can be found

And Oz is just over the rainbow

 

Everything well change

Of that there is certainty

So simply prepare yourself as all things leave

Some go loud , some quiet and cease to exist

As if they were never there without a sound

You’ll hardly notice the absence , you know

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Noose

Slip free from the noose

That’s had me hanging

From the tree of certainty

In the valley of forsaken

 

Wandering the valley of the broken

Looking for the cliff of uncertainty

Wailing into the void like a banshee

Keening my song into the night

 

As I run from the sun , keeping my back to to the dawning light

My demon is on the loose

And I feel it changing

I feel it becoming me

Something Old

There comes a time when all loves die, when only the hollow withered husk remains. When all is for not and reason is lost to tide of despair that washes in. The good forgotten and the ill is all that remains to guide you on your path . When that occurs all you can do is cry for the world you lost and steel yourself for the world that will be created by the flames of the dying feelings you felt. Brace your self for the long winter to come as the heart repairs and you move on.

A slight return to Magic the Gathering

So I haven’t actually wrote a blog in some time. Not much to say , my life same as it ever was. Or same as it ever is these day. Lots of work upon more work, lots of feeling tired regardless of sleep.

About a week ago I got to see an old friend. We hung out like it was old times and I had forgotten how much I missed it, The past.

 

For years one of my hobbies was playing Magic the Gathering, I really liked it. A game of strategy , a game where you could be cunning. Creating decks and plays that people didn’t expect. I started playing in like 1996. though didn’t truly get into it till like 1997 when I was Tech school in the Air Force. A friend got me playing and this same friend gave me his collection when he went to his next base. To avoid having to take it. It wasn’t much just a shoe box full of cards. When I got out of the Air Force I gave my cards to my nephews. (in retrospect one of the worst things I ever did.) They had no idea how to care about anything they owned I blame their mother for that ,my sister. She never taught them the value of taking care of things more to the point she taught them the opposite. Though I digress(love that word).

 

Fast forward to 2011, some 10 years later, My coworkers and friends got me playing again. In a short span I massed a decent collection. From buying cards, lots of bulk buying, being given cards from others. Probably the largest influx came from a friend who owns a local comic shop. He didn’t feel like going through a box of 5000 he had bought. So he gave it to me. A few years later by say 2016 I had a collection that probably numbered in the high teen thousands to twenty thousand perhaps more.

 

I was part of two different small play groups. We played weekly some times twice a week. From early mornings to late nights we would play. I didn’t always win but I always had fun. Occasionally I’d play in tournaments or weekly organized events. Though as with all things in time they change. Work and other factors like location changed the dynamics. My work hours changed as did theirs, some moved away and for others conflicts of personality arose.

 

Then as other factors mitigated with less time to play or have any meaningful reason to keep the cards. Acquired so easily and cheaply I was able to sell most or simply give them away . Keeping only a few sentimental cards. I switched to playing online for time , still not quite the same. And even the online collection was cast aside.

 

Still all of this is simply prelude to the feeling that I let go of something I enjoyed having in my life. I attempted to get back into playing a couple of months ago. Only for that to fizzle as work hours changed keeping me attending any organized events. I even built a deck for standard play and traded some of my few remaining valuable cards to get cards from the current standard legal environment Made more sense than spending money on them. And now two months later I got to play again. Though the commander format, One which I love , though sadly with underdeveloped decks that were outclassed. The lack of having the large card-pool I used to have to create them.

 

Still I realized I need something to pass the time in my brain. I’ve outgrown other hobbies. My brain craves something to poke it,prod it and have it think. Even my writings no longer truly do that. For I feel I’m merely saying variations of things I’ve said before.