The common brutality

Of a civilized society

It not lost upon me

It’s there for all to see

There for all to know

Yet all they do is enjoy the show


Feeding off the drama

Forgetting karma

Living in the agony

Glorifying the infamy


One or a thousand fall

The number matters little at all

Just another day

Just another story

Blazing across in its 1080 glory

A true testament to the God we pray


The god of violence

Who bestows the everlasting silence

The peace of the grave

To the old and the young

The weak and the the strong

Be they a coward or brave

The GOD of death

Whom we meet with our last breath

Another day, Another Shooting, Keeping America Great

Another mass killing, Another white guy on a mass killing spree. People sending their thoughts and prayers. FACE IT people if GOD cared , he ignored their prayers.  This is what our country has become. We’re all to blame for the state it’s in. Welcome to America, where just as likely to die on your knees as on your feet.

Five will get you ten that some dip shit televangelist will claim its GOD will. While others will go on the 2nd amendment defensive. Don’t take my assault rifle from me. Or better yet rattle off how if the people at the church had been armed they’d be alive.


Family Ties


So it’s been about five days now since I found out I have another Half sibling. Like I needed another. So in short order here is the story so far. Dead beat sperm Donor parent already had two kids with his wife , then apparently had another with some lady. Three years before he met my psycho incubator of a parent. The unknown sibling grew up in the same town/school as his other two half siblings and never knew. Since his mother never told him till like 6 years after his non biological father died . That his father was a person he never knew.


He’s reconnected with them and that side of his biological family. And blam guess got told oh hey btw you have another half brother we never met either. That being me. And now after I guess a couple years of trying to locate me or the right person named me. He bumped into my incubator and blam. I get a Facebook message saying hey I’m your brother. Umm no, Then he explains umm okay.


Sadly for him this is a big deal. Which makes me feel a bit bad for him. Because to me it’s just another reason to harbor my hate of the sperm donor. I don’t really want a connection to that side of the family. To me it’s never existed and never will. Let me set the stage for this. On his Facebook was a public post with a picture of the sperm donor. It explained how he found out etc. To this post was replies from some his friends (and in turn were actually unknown relatives of his)who had known the sperm donor . They talked about what a good man he was etc. I call bullshit because a good man, fuck a good human being doesn’t go and have two kids with two other women while married and have nothing to do with one who lives maybe a few miles away and doesn’t flip flop over whether or not the other kid(that being me) is his when then incubator sues for child support. Now the sperm donor has been dead over two decades.


I saw him 3 times that I can recall, once on my 5th birthday. Again when I was like 10 at the blood test to prove yup motherfucker I’m your son , you piece of shit douche bag. And maybe when I was around 11 or 12 in the court room. When the sperm donor and incubator were trying to decide on child support and custody. All I really remember of that day was not once did he say my name. I was referred to as the boy. Even when he talked to the incubator and me in private. I recall perfectly what I said to the judge when he asked if I wanted to visit my sperm donor on weekends and the like. HELL NO, why would I? He’s known about for 12 years and then tried to deny I exist. Btw the blood test even back in the late 80’s came back saying 99.6 % chance he was my sperm donor.


In the end I never visited nor saw him again before his death maybe a year later. I never sought out his other two children nor any of his family. I already had one set of half siblings from the incubator since she had five kids from her first marriage , eight years before I was born. I’m not the biggest fan of them as some you know and most of you can tell from this. So now here’s an unknown sibling popping up wanting to have a Little brother. Yes he has referred to me as that a few times. Motherfucker you’re only 3 years older okay almost 4. And even my half siblings I grew up don’t refer to me as little brother.


Now besides my now natural disdain for genetic family connections. We get to the part where yes We differ on a lot of things. From viewing his Facebook, he’s overly proud of that confederate southern heritage and want’s to make America great again. Need I say more. The only thing I’ll do is bash his politics and stomp on that heritage bullshit. I’m from one county over and I don’t buy into that bullshit. Plus I have nothing good to say about the sperm donor. So I seriously doubt that side of the genetic family want’s their illusion destroyed when I drop cold hard reality about what type of man he was. And nothing will change my opinion not a single scrap of information can alter the fact. He knew he had two other kids and made no effort to be in their lives.


I dislike the spoken word

For me to speak is to risk to much

My mind races faster than my tongue

Tripping over words

Mixing up the sounds

Of what is meant to be

And leaving the meaning behind them hidden

As none but I can see

That what I said was not what I thought

Nor what was felt


Oh how the words flow

And the heart inside glows

Only to be derailed by slip of a tongue

And the folly of speed

This has been one of the many curses

That I have felt in my lifetime

One that never gets broken

Nor forgotten


One that will always be

Why Minority Matters in Kink — ABCs Of Kink

I woke up this morning thinking: Those who are more interested in maintaining their own privilege rather than realistically disenfranchising or explicitly exploiting their more-than-equal statuses in order to lift those who are poor in the eyes of authority, are untrustworthy characters. Do not believe they mean well, their actions and inactions will tell you…

via Why Minority Matters in Kink — ABCs Of Kink